In this personal reflection Shofa Miah reflects on a childhood learning experience and, below, explains why more must be done to end discrimination against people who do not fit rigid ideas of what is normal behaviour.

She says: “I was diagnosed as an adult and my experience outlined here is that of a child almost 40 years ago. It reflects a time when perhaps there was less sensitivity but, even today, all of us have to take special care to avoid actions that isolate or exclude potentially vulnerable people.”

By Shofa Miah

A lesson remembered

It was almost 6pm, the faith teacher will arrive soon. She rushed to the bathroom, to perform the ritualistic wash. Ablution – the act of washing oneself to cleanse and purify. It is compulsory to do, before you read any sacred passages.

The water was soothing, fresh and clean – It felt great. But it also brought a degree of anxiety and fear. She didn’t do her homework; she knew there would be consequences.

Deep inside she felt scared, but she kept a still face. ‘’If I stay quiet, maybe no one will notice,” she thought to herself.

She walked into the makeshift living room come classroom, where colourful mats lay on the floor, full of students sitting crossed legged chanting loudly, all reciting different pages of the sacred books, All saying different verses. Loud, louder and even LOUDER!

She tried to stay focused on her page, trying to regulate her Metronome, but it was almost impossible. There was sensory overload. It’s now called Heightened Sensory Sensitivity!

Some children were rocking backwards and forwards, mesmerised and reading passionately. Some were having a giggle and gossip between themselves, others were making paper origami secretly away from the teacher’s gaze.

She scanned the room … looking at all the children … and figuring out the best way to concentrate and read a foreign language that was not even her mother tongue or English literature which she was very good at! There was so much noise and activity, the room was alive!

But with this Heightened Sensory Sensitivity comes blinding pain and emotional meltdown.

Silently and unannounced, a sharp hand landed across her face. Hot tears streamed down her soft face. Silent tears, like hot lava. She looked down at the book at the same time, using both her hands to protect the back of her head and ears from
the next blow.

She tried to read, but nothing came out from her mouth. Only muffled sounds. Her tears tasted bittersweet.

An authoritarian male voice yelled: ‘’Go and do ablution again you stupid girl – the devil has possessed you again’’. The little girl goes back to the bathroom and repeats the ablution. She looks up at her reflection, one side of her soft eight- year-old
cheek, bright red and stinging.

Maybe, she thinks to herself, maybe I am stupid and I am possessed by the devil. The teacher can’t be wrong, can they? Because, after all, they are normal…

Changing attitudes on neurodiversity

The experience outlined on this page is my own, but many of us carry the trauma from childhood if we have witnessed or been on the receiving end of physical punishment, perhaps at the hand of our parents, family members or carers or from
adults in faith and teaching institutions.

The reasons to be beaten were because you are academically weak, you cannot spell, you have disappointing grades, inadequate handwriting, or can’t memorise or pronounce words well. Or just not conforming to cultural expectations.

Many of us learnt through fear, we were and are still led to believe that the academic child is the more intelligent child. Emotional intelligence was rarely celebrated.

I understand well now that being neurodivergent is not something to be ashamed of. It can enhance your personal and professional career and life – giving you opportunities to explore, embrace, accept, challenge, adapt and show your brilliance – in ways that reflect the person you are.

As mentioned in The Pocket Guide to Neurodiversity by Daniel Aherne, there are many forms of communication, including – verbal, non-verbal, visual, written and listening.

The young girl’s voice reproduced on this page is from me, a neurodivergent child caught up in a conventional teaching system. This is part of my learning journey throughout my childhood and adolescent years. And it is also the journey of many other children in Newham, London and around the world.

We learn from Daniel’s book that “Girls are socialised to hide their difficulties and to conform to social expectations as much as possible, so they mask hiding their true selves and try to blend in”.

Whether our role in daily life is as parents, carers, employees or employers , it is important to remember that education and employment are often organised around what is called a Neurotypical Framework, which doesn’t work for all of us.

As a woman who has had the lived experience of trauma induced teaching, it brings hope to know that these days conditions like Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Autism, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia can be diagnosed, particularly for women and girls, a group once overlooked.

In the past, it took courage to speak out on this almost taboo topic. But I made a conscious decision to do so, with the hope that it might change attitudes. Anyone who listens to the stories of people from the neurodivergent community, can shift attitudes and empower and educate others.

As we prepare for Neurodiversity Celebration Week, which takes place from 18-24 March , it’s worth remembering the advice of Daniel Aherne, “ Let’s start to make the world more inclusive by simply paying attention to people around you…”

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