It was a sunny afternoon, I was wearing a grey t-shirt and jeans and I was on my way to meet a friend. While I was walking I felt a tap on my shoulder, it was a man who asked for “directions.” I assumed that it would be a brief conversation and generously explained to him what street to take.
Being naive and ingenuous, I was unaware that this was merely an excuse to start a conversation and that he had ulterior motives. He shifted the conversation away from “directions” by objectifying my body and sexualising my attire. I ignored him and dismissed his questions, making it apparent that I was extremely uncomfortable. He, on the other hand, saw it as a “challenge” and grew even more determined and persistent. After refusing countless times to give him my number, he began to threaten me. He looked about 30 years old. I was 14.
This story is just one of many. Like many girls and women, I’ve been subject to sexual harassment and verbal abuse. The overt sexualisation of women has been a problem throughout history, and it continues to be an egregious issue that women and young girls face on a daily basis.
We live in a never-ending loop of people, mostly men, checking our appearance, behaviour, and demeanour. We walk on eggshells and are continuously on the lookout for danger.
Men refuse to see “No” as an indication to stop. They yell derogatory terms as if it’s a “compliment.” They honk their horns as a sign of interest, but it makes one feel like a sexualised object. I constantly look behind me when walking, in fear of being followed. Young girls are continually asked for sexually explicit photos. My friends have been cat-called numerous times in their school uniform, as it is part of the “appeal.”
When I ask my friends about their experiences, every single one of them says they have encountered sexual harassment. I ask how they deal with these situations, and they all have the same response: “We just stay silent.”
Why is this? Why are girls and women taught to stay silent rather than speak up?
The problem is the fact that when women share their experiences, they are demeaned, belittled, downplayed and often even blamed. There is always the same question, “Well… what were you wearing?” as if a piece of clothing justifies receiving verbal abuse.making us reluctant to share.
In schools, girls are hesitant to speak up as many teachers and faculty members underestimate the scale of these problems and don’t treat them seriously, but they are also scared of being socially ostracised for speaking out.
At school we need an environment where students feel comfortable enough to share their experiences without feeling blamed or cut off from their peers.
Most important is addressing the underlying issue of how boys are uneducated about the treatment of girls from an early age. In schools we learn about issues of drugs, alcohol, and sex, but the problem of verbal abuse and sexual harassment is either briefly mentioned or neglected. This means boys are not taught properly about good behaviour and respect for women..
This needs to change now. By not confronting men’s abhorrent behaviour suggests that these actions are acceptable. This only perpetuates the problem.
Through the platform of Newham Voices, we want to raise awareness on how sexual harassment and verbal abuse can be tackled, how schools can address the problem, how society needs to hold men and boys accountable for their actions and,most urgently, to teach girls that they can speak up.
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