A community leader at the forefront of Newham’s three-year strategy to combat domestic abuse says people need to rethink how they imagine the problem of violence in the home.

“Many people think that this is a problem for women alone,” says Tee Fabien, a community lead for the campaign, “domestic violence happens on both sides. Sometimes the woman is the perpetrator and a lot of men are too ashamed to say ‘my wife is abusing me’.

“I remember once when a man, a big man came to see me. He sat down and started to cry. He was desperate. ’Look,’ he said, ‘who’s going to believe me?’”

Tee worked with the couple. They separated, but she says they now live decent lives without conflict and bitterness between them. Tee realised that this man was just as vulnerable to abuse as anyone else.

But it’s women who remain by far the prime victims. During the lockdown the problem has got worse and she has talked to many women who are victims or survivors of violence. She is especially concerned about the impact of domestic abuse on children. “It can have a long-lasting effect on them,” she said.

She says more will be done. Safe houses are already available in the Borough and she pledges that that her base at the Carpenters Estate in Stratford will become “a hub for the protection of women right across Newham.”

The new campaign, co-ordinated by the support group Hestia, will create a digital inclusion programme for domestic violence survivors. There are also plans for a survivors’ forum that will raise awareness and provide practical help.

Tee’s work is part of the first phase of the three-year campaign announced by the Council in July. The Council acted following a year in which police recorded 6,700 cases of domestic abuse across the Borough.

Tee is already a well-known community leader on the estate where she led the Tenant Management Organisation (TMO) until 2014.

Today she’s at the centre of the Carpenters and Docklands and TMO Food Bank, one of the largest distribution centres of food for families in the Borough. She is also a health campaigner and is a public governor with the East London NHS Foundation Trust.

She believes domestic violence doesn’t just come from individual behaviour, it also emerges when social conditions and economic circumstances deteriorate. She fears the situation will get worse with a jobs and poverty crisis in the area likely to worsen during this year.

She said: “The time to do something is now. I’m glad the council has launched this campaign. Anyone who feels under pressure, women or men, must be able to reach out and get support without putting themselves at further risk.”

Newham’s community based domestic and sexual abuse services is supported by Hestia. For assistance call 0808 196 1482 Email: InfoNewhamDSV@hestia.org

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